How to Surrender into Uncertainty

Episode 1 Transcript 

  • We’re going to be discussing the topic of surrender and how to surrender into uncertainty because the last 18 months, as a collective, that is something we’ve all had to face. Last year when we first went into lockdown, I’d been in denial and resisted the idea of us going into a lockdown, so when it happened I was so sad because the mind had created this resistance so it went into shock. This helped me to realise that absolutely nothing in our lives is certain or that we can control, everything is temporary. This might sound negative but I see this as a really good thing because we can’t control anything and nothing is permanent then it feels like a relief to know I don’t need to control or worry about anything from the mind. The moment I realised that was a moment of surrender. 

  • Surrender for me is the release of control in the mind and the acceptance of whatever is going to come my way and really leaning into the inner voice led life and allowing the inner voice to lead. 

  • I found an article on psychology today, which I’ll link in the show notes, that describes surrender as a spiritual practice and says that when we’re in a situation that pushes us past our limits and our usual coping strategies no longer work, surrender happens when we know that we don’t know and we accept that we don’t have the answers. 

  • I’ve experienced that moment when nothing that I normally do is helping. I can think of a situation last year when I was doing all of the yoga, emotional release, breath, and all of the normal things but nothing was working and I had this experience in a class that I would take part in every Saturday morning with Naomi Absalom. Every week I would have a massive release but this one in particular, I was on my knees sobbing and praying to the universe saying ‘i surrender and I don’t know what else to do, so I'm giving it to you now, I’ve got no control anymore.’ That moment of surrender was really big and dramatic, but what’s happened since then is that moment has gave me the awareness to surrender in other ways, before it gets to the point of collapsing on my knees and praying. The sentence from the article ‘surrender is when we know we don’t know’ helps my mind to feel a lot calmer and feel ok that it doesn’t know. 

  • I’m sure you can think of a situation in your life that you’ve tried to control, plan, fix or organise from the mind and then it doesn’t pan out the way the mind wanted. The mind always wants to plan and control, and it believes that if it does then everything will work out but what happens when the minds expectations aren’t met, it can feel disappointing and like the universe has let you down. 

  • How can we live a life were we don’t have control? When we’ve been brought up in a society that has taught is that is the only way, how can we change that? It is connecting to the inner voice, that peaceful place inside of yourself and trusting that the more we connect to the inner voice, the more you build up the trust that it is looking after you and guiding you along a certain path that is going to present you with situations that are challenging but also with things that are aligning to you and are meant for you. 

  • You might think that sounds easier than it is to surrender into the unknown. Its not something you can just say and make it true, you’ve got to feel that trust. It is only over the last 18 months I can say this is really working for me. We hear of spiritual teachers speaking of this all the time and it sounds easy for them but it can be for us to. It’s about expanding your awareness and noticing when the mind is trying to control. 

  • I’d really resisted the lockdowns, I had a really big story in the mind about money and every time we did get put in one I was so scared about loosing my income. When the January lockdown happened I thought I’d need to start online classes again and was trying to come up with new ways of earning money but actually what I could feel my inner voice guiding me to was, nothing. It just wanted me to be. I actually caught the rona in that first week and my inner voice gave me the message that I caught it not because I’m weak, or my immune system is weak, it was a moment for me to surrender and a chance to slow down and relax. It was an opportunity to practice doing nothing as this was what it wanted me to do for the rest of the lockdown, to practice flowing with the inner voice and getting into alignment each day doing what the inner voice wanted to do each day not what the mind wanted. 

  • It felt like it was my initiation to surrendering into uncertainty. The situation I experienced a few months before, it was full of fear and even though I did jump in and surrender, this one felt a lot calmer. This opportunity to surrender and being able to tune into my inner voice everyday, it then led me to do the inner voice facilitator training with Jess Lively. I’d been doing the inner voice work alone for 6 years and then teaching workshops and 1:1s for 2 years so my mind resisted the training because I’d already been doing the work and it felt like I didn’t need to spend all of that money but because I’d had those few months of practicing inner voice led life I knew that it would be guiding me to do the course for a reason. 

  • Within the first week of the training my Inner voice had led me to quit teaching yoga, which I’d done for 5 years. The mind was so confused why I wouldn’t go back to teach when the studios reopened after lockdown but when I look back teaching had felt aligning or fun for a long time and just wasn’t resonating for me anymore. To the mind it felt like a regular flow of income but in reality it wasn’t, because of the lockdowns it hadn’t been a stable income for a while. The mind wanted to know, if I'm going to quit, what is going to be next. I knew it would be the inner voice work so the mind expected that straight away I’d have loads of people booking sessions and be successful from the get go. The mind needed something to control and hold onto because the issue was the money. 

  • In the training we were able to practice doing sessions with each other, so one of the other trainees held space for me to try and get more answers from the inner voice. The first thing my inner voice said was trust and then take the leap. Hearing the inner voice say take the leap felt so fun and exciting. My very clever inner voice gave me a visual of a situation where I’d followed the mind and gave me the feelings I’d had at that time, which was sadness, fear, anger, so I could understand what it felt like when I did follow the mind. It then showed me and gave me the feelings I had in a situation were i’d made a massive life changing decision from the inner voice that made me feel joy, happiness and peace.  At the time I felt really guilty for but now I know that the reason I felt them feelings was because I was choosing what my inner voice wanted me to do, I was choosing the path that my inner voice wanted me to be on. These two feelings and visuals from the inner voice, helped my mind realise I can choose either one of these options, its free will and I'm a sovereign being. The path that feels most aligning and peaceful is the one that the mind is scared of and that’s ok because I’m still going to go for it. The mind was still scared because it didn’t know what was going to happen so I decided to ask for a sign. I said to the universe ‘i want a massive, undeniable, mind blowing sign so if it’s a yes to leave teaching yoga show me a fox’ 

  • I told my friend about the sign and that night we were going to our other friends for tea. While we were there one of my friends was on her phone and said ‘look at this on instagram, someones rescued a baby fox’. My friend who I’d told about the sign looked at me and we both started shouting ‘OH MY GOD’ over and over, I then cried out of shock because it really was a massive, undeniable, mind blowing sign. Since then whenever I have a moment of doubt,I’ll see a fox in the strangest ways, such as walking down the road and a women wearing a fox t-shirt was coming towards me, 

  • When I did tell my studio manager that I wouldn’t be coming back to teach, I had the most amazing feeling sweep over my body. It felt like I’d just taken mushrooms, that same feeling of peace and love. It was a beautiful moment of surrender and fully stepping onto the path my higher self has been guiding me to. This was me declaring I’m here to do whatever my inner voice wants me to do. 

  • It's now been about three months since I finished the course and it was poetic that the course finished just as the yoga studios reopened which felt aligning. Now I am living in this complete place of uncertainty because I haven’t got this regular income and my work is doing these inner voice sessions or bean bags session and just allowing my inner voice to tell me what work to do. It hasn’t been all rainbows and sunshine, the mind has had a hard time because it’s so strong and has experienced a lot of trauma that I’ve been unpacking so for it to surrender is very scary. I feel like now I’m in this constant practice of surrender and what’s been good for me when I’ve had these moments of fear and not been enjoying the uncertainty, is journaling what fears have been coming, tuning in to see if there is an emotion tied to it and then releasing the emotion in a bean bag session either by myself or with another facilitator. Every time I release the emotion connected to the fear, the surrender and uncertainty feels a lot easier. The more I repeat this cycle of being aware of the fear and need to control, releasing the emption connected to that, surrendering into that and then things flow in, work flows in, people will book in for session or I’ll receive a message form my inner voice of a new service to offer. 

  • I’ve listened to Abraham hicks talk about this for years, the path of least resistance and just allowing and it’s only now I’m experiencing it in the physical, it makes so much more sense than just in the logical. I feel like for my whole life I’ve been trying to keep my head above of water and trying to chase down the things I want and fighting against the current, whereas now it feels like someones has told me that I can float, so I’ve lay back, flowing with the current and all the things that are meant for me are being guided into my palms and the things I no longer need in that moment are being washed away. 

  • To allow that level of surrender into the unknown feels really good. I feel like a different person and the reason I wanted to share this episode is because I want everyone to feel this level of peace too. Everyone deserves to feel this level of peace. If you’re having the same thoughts I had when I started on this journey ‘this isn’t meant for me, I need to control things because everything goes wrong in my life, I'm an unlucky person’ have a moment of refection, maybe journal and write down what you’re scared of. Reflect on the things in your life that feel like they are going wrong and see if you did try to control it or resist what was happening. If you’re experiencing trauma right now, it feels like you can’t see a way out and that things won’t get better but I can promise you from experience that just taking a moment to breath, even if it’s just one minute of just allowing what’s happening to be will be better than one minute of resisting. Journaling the minds fear, writing what the mind is trying to control whether its career, family, relationships, health, the world situation. When I resisted the world situation I didn’t make anything better or change any laws all I need was make myself feel bad and lowered my vibrations. 

  • Once you’ve reflected and are aware of these things, you can take that practice of awareness in your everyday life, noticing when you are triggered by something and how that feels. What is your first instinct, to control it or fix it. You don’t have to make yourself feel bad for this, that first stage of awareness is the first step to surrender. Noticing what don’t I know here, what don’t I know about my future or the rest of the year. My inner voice is saying nothing which is making me laugh. The biggest piece of advice if you are going to practice surrendering and letting go of control is to not feel bad if you do step back into control or uncertainty. It's just the way eve been conditioned so just be patient, there’s nothing wrong with being a human, its part of our experience. 

  • It would be weird if we were all amazing at this practice and I’m sure even though I'm feeling so peaceful in surrender right now, next week I could be presented with a new situation that triggers the fear. 

  • If your mind has got a lot of resistance around this topic or you’ve got any questions then feel free to give me a message on instagram or my website.